The first duty of wine is to be Italian, the second to be red. Italy, land of rich reds, from Barolo and Barbaresco to Amarone. From Brunello and Vino Nobile and Chianti Classico to Montepulciano and Aglianico and Etna Rosso. From Marzemino and Lagrein, from Barbera and Canaiolo. The land is rich in red and like the blood of the Saviour, must be forever worshipped. Thou shalt have no other DOCGs before me.
If wine is not red, and its fate is to be white, then make no false white wine. No watered down Moscato or Pinot Grigio, no over oaked Verdicchio or Fiano. No Chardonnay pretending to be French, or worse, from the Russian River Valley. If it must be white, it must be true and pure as milk and honey.
Nor produce or bring false wines from Piedmont into the marketplace. If one sees Barolo for $19.99 , strike it down, like brother Moses smote the rock. Likewise with any Barbaresco you see for $9.99.
Brunello shall be made solely with the Blood of Jesus, wrongly called Jupiter or Jove in ancient Latin texts. There shall be no Merlot, no Syrah, no Cabernet.
Remember who brought you here and respect your for-bearers. Honor them at your table and treat them with respect.
Or oak chips, oak dust or any excess contact in wood or new, small French barrique.
Via micro-oxygenation, premature oxidation, diethylene glycol, acidification, excess sugar or any extract not occurring naturally.
Bring not Primitivo from Puglia and blend it in with Corvina in Valpolicella. Nor Montepucliano from Abruzzo and blend it in with Sangiovese in Chianti. Or Agliancio from Campania and blend it in with Nebbiolo in Piedmont. Never. Ever.
Love thy Prosecco as yourself. Put it not into tanks and send it hurling through tap lines in England or America. Keep thy Glera pure (and as white) as the snow of Mont Blanc, ille est Monte Bianco.
Nor his 1930’s Moto Guzzi, nor her Maserati Quattroporte. Nor their 16% alcohol. Do not covet what you cannot obtain by natural means.
Go forth and do all that has been commanded. Now you are ready for the Promised Land!
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